I have a great calling within me to get this dialogue into the public, so that I can begin growing my relationship with the world as a spiritual activist & begin my path of service beyond my communal domestic lifestyle. It’s been a year since my last post due to my very busy & full life. Mostly balancing life with farm infrastructure & my own personal developmental activities. I hope to begin making regular entries. I have had a lot culminating to finally bring to emergence. This will be a sprinkling of content that will have separate entries which they deserve more detail & depth than this broad topic of “the 10”. I will get those out over time.
Hermetic: relating to an ancient occult religion encompassing alchemy, astrology, & theosophy.
occult: hidden. Beyond the range of ordinary knowledge or experience, mysterious. Involving or relating to the supernatural or mystical.
Nun: a member of a religious community or order, especially cloistered, living under vows of poverty, chastity, & discipline.
theurgy: the working of a divine or supernatural agency in human affairs. Divine possession.
I have been living as a celibate Hermetic Nun for 10 years in September 2016, since a 2 year relationship came to a close. I wanted to embrace some level of solitude after,not only, living in close communal quarters for many years ,but also, needing to begin a healing process after the failed investment of past relationships. I was finally able to focus completely on my arts without the distraction of a person to focus on. Even though I had already been a prolific artist for many years, my yearning to satiate myself in creative endeavors was overwhelming & needed to be fulfilled. I thought it would last a year maybe 2. At this point it’s been 11 years. I now realize that I will never be satiated. This IS my true love, my passion of life, what I want to wake up to & go to bed thinking about. It is the blood of my soul, a process back to Self, a vehicle of discovery & exploration of the Cosmic Interior.
Marking the day of the third year of this journey I experienced ,what I believe to be,The Bridal Chamber. It impregnated me with a tantric tool, which I call, Power Poi Kundalini Flow Fitness or PPKFF. It is a moving meditation as well as an exercise that I will present in the near future. This is part of the message that I have to bring forward, stay tuned for vlogs & workshops. This PPKFF has been my personal practice for the last 8 years. It has become my personal alchemical forge to temper the expansion of Self to accommodate the collective connection by the sacrifice of the ego to diminish its power over Self. It is a tool for managing energy & physiology on the lower realm while processing information on higher realms to “climax” & receive a download of information from the Kundalini contact with Spirit body. Accelerating a development of Tantric relationship with life itself. Transmuting sexual energy into creative energy, therefore developing a tantric relationship with Self, not just with a partner in the bedroom slice of life , but with life itself. The Bridal Chamber brought deep esoteric clarity of The Lovers tarot card being the marriage within Self. The Hermit conducting the marriage being the activation of Cosmic Christ Consciousness to receive information about the higher purpose of Self & its connection to the collective picture of the whole as an evolutionary step toward reintegration with the collective consciousness, which leads us back to source. On top of that, having birthed a tantric spirit baby from that marriage, in the form of an integrative training aid to quicken my development. I knew that I had a cycle, a process of learning/growing to complete before I would have this fully articulated & processed for myself, much less begin speaking of this experience to others. The ego can’t be built while “doing the work” for its dismantlement. It must be properly carried out with patience & integrity to truly be clean & ring with truth.
This is what I call “the 10”. My 10 years spent as a celibate Hermetic Nun. My focus spent on the esoteric nature of my Self communication with Spirit through the process of art. To truly be the limb of my archetypal makers, the Virginal Warriors would prove to be significant.
As an artist of many mediums I consider the “creative zone” in general to be a moving meditation. When I have consecutive days to be creative, I call it “swimming in the deep end”. Because the deeper you go, the deeper you Gno (a comical reference to Gnosis). Even exterior conversation can be a brain flip, pulling you to the surface to be attentive using a different facility of brain function that takes a moment to settle back into external cognizance. I prefer not coming to the surface until forced to by hunger or sleep. This is what I had been yearning for. To remove any interruptions that could break my concentration & interrupt the process in motion, which can last for days. I refer to “the rapids” as the flow of creative force that exists in the Spirit realm that is there for any of us to tap into. It is not something you can dip a toe in, it carries you. What does God do? God makes stuff. We are the limb of God’s creativity experiencing itself creating. This is the altar upon which I choose to worship. My entire life is designed to be this altar so that I may worship in this manner. Not just on a day of the week, but integrated into life itself. I am my own art project. Life IS the altar.
Several years ago I was very oppressed by my personal prison without bars (cleaning) & really did need more time to be creative. I asked myself from where I would pull that extra time since my love life & social life had already been delineated. I began my practice of the 2 minute shower & bulk food prep to make left overs that I could just grab & eat or prepare quickly. This is a window into the level to which I dedicate myself to this lifestyle of creativity.
Now that I have completed this cycle of “the 10”, it is naturally time for the next cycle to be initiated. Which I did the weekend of September 8, 2017, at ArtOutside with The Gnoasis- Gnostic Learning Lounge. The time has come for me to exit the cycle of secrecy & solitude to begin living my life’s purpose out in the open. To not only affect the world with my message/ministry but meet new people & build community based in this spiritual movement. I believe myself to be a Spiritual Activist as much as I am an Artist. I’m certainly not claiming to have all the answers, by any means. In fact I am at the beginning of a new level of processing information & have a vast new curriculum of knowledge ahead of me to even try to wrap my brain around. I don’t claim to be perfect either, just wait until I write about my Archetypes. But I have penetrated truths of this world that resonate with my slice of the Universal pie. My truths. My accumulated dots of learned knowledge & intuited wisdom. Even though I have a long way to go, I have something to offer as a beginning of a solution to what I see as a human crisis of disconnection to spirit. I not only want to strive to be the exemplary human that I can be, but my life is actually a text book example of a modern Gnostic. My story could help others connect their dots to find their own hidden path back to Self. It is time for me to rise to my next level of embodying this consciousness & begin my work as a guide to empower the Modern Gnostic Renaissance, the movement that I know holds the next evolutionary step for humankind’s spiritual progress. Now with my life reborn anew, I can polish & reshape the exposed treasure that has been encased within dysfunctional conditioning until this pivotal depth of assimilation. I have a story to tell that I hope will nudge, guide, inspire, or help the other humans that are seeking Self underneath their indoctrinated layers of dysfunction, conditioning, & ignorance…..the bondage that we are all born into.